I don't cook pretty

My friend had a potluck. She wants to be a community builder. She wants her friends from different areas of her life to meet. 

Why? I like to compartmentalize. I think it’s healthy. I don’t think my sound bath friends are going to like my habitual drinker friends. People don’t need to see every angle of my personality in one night. It’s like saying “I want you to realize how little you know me so come meet my OTHER friends. You think I’m all about coffee and self awareness? oh no - I like shallow people too if you can believe it. I even have friends with anger management issues.”

No matter what category they fall in - I don’t want to potluck with them. I’d bet $100 each and every one of them can cook better than me. 

I simply can’t take being the worst at anything. Never mind - I know me- I'll get competitive and judgemental at a potluck. Maura brought a sour cherry pistachio crumb cake brulee that looks like the cook book photo?

Fuck off.

You baked that to perfection to impress us. 

“How many fucked up sour cherry pistachio crumb cake brulees did it take? Let’s not start out on the wrong foot here, Maura. Do you have a job, Maura? How are you allowed so many baking hours? No, you don’t have to go to the bathroom. You have to stand here and tell me who is Maura the sour cherry pistachio crumb cake brulee baker under this facade of perfection”

Visually, my cooking is not so much mouth watering as it is a conversation starter “Now, is this a.. Goodness, I’m not sure what it is. Pray tell” 

Then I have to spend 20 minutes ensuring people it’s lasagna and it’s perfectly harmless.

I don’t even like to eat the food I cook at home at HOME- never mind pack it up, transport it to somebody else's house and then try to convince people to eat it. 

So yeah, not good at cooking 

I tend to avoid things I’m not good at plus I like  a short lag time between done cooking - and me eating. 

For all I know Sandy’s eggplant parm is from 5 days ago and sat in a parked car today for two hours. You can’t ask people these questions because then they see the workings of your mind too soon. It’s TMQ (too many questions) 

I guess the point is just because my friend wants all her friends to be friends, that doesn’t mean all her friends want the same thing. I’m just one of seven invited. There is bound to be one likeminded person. The thing is I don’t want to say no I cannot attend then find out somebody who did attend got competitive and judgemental, because I would like to meet that person. I’d befriend the attendee who rubbed people the wrong way. I view them as a risk taker. A self assured, opinionated, impatient type. 

I just hope they are wearing a caftan. 

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