Coffee Roll Demand

There is something about Dunkin Donuts coffee rolls that eases my homesickness. Two Saturdays ago I went to the Dunkin Donuts on Smith street in Brooklyn which they just did over, by the way. It looks very mod but there are still a bunch of Off Track Betting ex pats sitting around not talking to each other.
I got in line. I’ll admit I was annoyed there was a line at 1:15 on a Saturday afternoon. Maybe you need more hands on deck? Just a thought. I finally got up to the counter and ordered politely “May I have one coffee roll, please?”
“No more coffee rolls” impolite delivery noted.
“No more? Will you have more tomorrow?”
“Yeah yeah tomorrow, next”
I was embarrassed to walk by all the people in line with nothing to show for my time spent there but I didn’t want anything else. I wanted a coffee roll.
They next day my urge for a coffee roll was not as strong but that wasn’t the point anymore, now it was about getting what I was told I could not have. I went back to Dunkin Donuts. This time a little earlier, around 11:15 am. There was only one person in line who ordered a coffee with 4 sugars and extra cream, I ALMOST lost my appetite. As I was waiting patiently, I peered around. I could not believe it. It looked like the coffee roll tray was empty.
I pretended that I hadn’t seen what I thought I saw “May I have one coffee roll, please?”
She turned to look at the tray “Sorry, no more coffee rolls”
“Are you serious? But you had some today?”
“Yes, but we sold out”
I’ll admit, I overreacted and stormed out in a huff. It was either that or start asking a lot of questions like
“How many do you make daily?”
“Is it the same person buying them all up?”
“Is it possible to put one aside for me?”
I think I made the right choice.
This past Sunday I was up early for yoga. I went to Dunkin Donuts before 10 am. There were two coffee rolls left. I mean my mind is blown at this point. How friggin early do these coffee roll lovers get up on Sundays? I contemplated buying both the coffee rolls but I knew I wouldn’t eat two. I placed my order. Nobody seemed to recognize me. I was tempted to say “I finally got one!” and tell everybody what I had been through but I knew it wouldn’t be of interest. Some of the other patrons looked like they had been to hell and back to get to this Dunkin Donuts.
I thought about hanging around to see who bought the last one but more importantly, how many people ordered coffee rolls after the last one was sold but I was feeling chatty.
I took my coffee roll home with me and sat on the couch and ate it with two hands.
No sharing.
Thanks for listening!
Kendra is a stand up comic living in Brooklyn where she owns a super comfortable bed. She spends most of her time wondering where the hell her sugar daddy is and hoping he didn’t settle.
twitter @theotherkendra

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