I’ve been doing a lot of work on
goal setting and expectations. I’ve come to realize my expectations from men
are far from reality based. For one thing, I still operate under the belief
system that at some point, dudes stop acting like dudes and start communicating
with me like my female friends. To some asinine degree, I subconsciously think
guys ACT like guys until they trust and
love you, then they become easy going, understandable, fun loving people, just
like my best gal pals.
The truth is, we’re always gonna be
different. To make matters more complicated, within our respective genders,
there are all different degrees of feminine and masculine behavior. My last
boyfriend liked to talk about his emotional issues, repetitively. Not only was
it exhausting, it was worrisome. Then I’m tiptoeing around his emotional shit
and guess what? My baggage got ignored
and stagnant. I’ve also been involved with emotional imbeciles who literally
have no emotional intelligence.
Me: ‘I like you and I like spending
time with you but I don’t really know what’s going on with us?’
Neanderthal: “Whattaya mean?’
This is where I think I’m getting
fucked with and lose my shit.
Sometimes it takes an idiot to send
you into an anger fueled tail spin.
All I really want is someone to
communicate these things
“I think you’re prettier than
anyone I know”
‘I like spending time with you more
than anyone I know’
‘I want you to feel like I like you
more than anyone I know, how can I do that?”
Superlatives and interest in behavior
modification.
That’s really it.
I don’t think that’s asking too
much.
Oh and the granddaddy of all
superlatives, the unexpected superlative! One you never even HEARD before.
Shit, I’ll forget all about the fact you didn’t answer my texts for 2
days. I mean holding a grudge will only
detract from the fact that I “look like a modern day Bridget Bardot ”
I’m no fool.
Preferably the male saying these
things is 6 foot something, 50 to 60 pounds heavier than me, easy on the eyes,
and highly interested in my sexual satisfaction.
Just another set of reality based
expectations
I’m fucked
Figuratively
Thanks for listening.
Kisses-
Kendra
Kendra is a stand up comic
living in Brooklyn where she owns a super comfortable bed. She spends most of
her time wondering where the hell her sugar daddy is and hoping he didn’t
settle.
www.kendracunningham.com
www.blondelogicblog.com
twitter
@kendracomedy
